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Could you imagine what you would want to do if that needy guy was texting you right now?
I recently documented six types of girls who are really, really annoying (slash we've probably all been at some point).
We hadn't discussed the question of whether we were dating other people, but because he seemed into me, I assumed he wasn't. After about a month, I had a rude awakening: He casually mentioned that he was dating two other women at the same time. I'm just advising you to be skeptical until you have some serious reason to believe he's treating you in a manner that is unusual FOR HIM — rather than treating you in a manner that seems unusual IN GENERAL but is actually his typical M.
(Luckily, I hadn't had sex with him, because my two-month rule is in play.) I find that other women often think like I do: If a guy is exhibiting dating behavior that the woman thinks is unusual, she assumes the man is only behaving in that "unusual" way toward HER ...
So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.
I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.
Commenter Lizensews made a brilliant suggestion: Why not do the same thing with guys?!
But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!Plus, it says loads about him if he routinely rolls over and falls asleep without making sure you're satisfied.If he can't see that, may I suggest you see other people?Put simply, a needy person doesn’t feel good inside and then saddles the other person with the responsibility to make them feel better… whoops, “my battery died, sorry I didn’t call you back last night.” Nobody’s perfect. When you boil it all down, neediness is not some set of behaviors. When a person takes on the belief that another person is responsible for their happiness, their sense of well-being and their sense of self-esteem, then it’s guaranteed that they’re going to act needy as a result of that mindset.(FYI, we have a whole chapter on this in our new book “He’s Not That Complicated: How to Crack a Man’s Romantic Code to Get the Relationship You Want“) Even the kindest, most well-meaning, most empathetic guy won’t be able to satisfy a woman who acts needy the majority of the time. I would be pretty surprised if you never had a needy guy around you. Making someone else responsible for your emotions is a key ingredient in creating a toxic relationship type dynamic, so it’s very important to guard against doing that (as well as recognize when others are doing that towards you).